Journal #1

The first point I’d like to point out is the author’s explanation about how writers need to follow the rules of writing instead of doing it “creatively.” I initially was a little offended because most famous authors throw the most basic rules of writing out the window. However, as the author starts providing some comparison to doctors and engineers, I had the realization that writing by the rules and writing “creatively” can both be done. In technical terms, a writer has a signature. There are writers who ignore grammar, or put in too many commas or make paragraphs worth of a single sentence and yet they still follow the rules. I think this is important because the author’s explanation about writers following the rules of writing shows the duality and necessity of writing rules in both professional and creative situations.

A second point is the author’s many examples of how spelling and grammar check are simply not enough; one must know how to edit following the proper rules. This is important because it reminds the writer to send their writing through multiple people and to draft and re-edit over and over before finally sending it in. This constant checking and rechecking was a skill my parent’s taught me but it is so important that I not only do it myself but I offer to read my friends’ work, good practice for me in learning the skills and good practice for my friends in the process of editing.

Journal #2

The first important point is the author’s stress on the difference in complexity between academic and professional writing (and in my opinion creative writing as well.) Professional (and sometimes creative) writing requires a level of complexity due to the specialization of the author. However, in professional writing, complexity wastes time and money; and can also cause serious problems if the message of the written piece is lost or misunderstood. This difference is complexity is extremely important as it allows for efficiency and ease as well as complete understanding by all parties.

The second point is the use of plain language, specifically simple examples. This plain language and corresponding examples are important because they allow for anyone to understand the content and (in the use of trying to get a job) the writer is able to explain exactly what they can do. Ex: “I am skilled using Microsoft Applications; including Word, Excel, and PowerPoint.” Easy to understand and specific to the message of the piece.

Journal #3

My first point is the importance of pronouns and how it works for both Clear and Courtesy. Gender pronoun neutrality is something people today (including myself) often have difficulty doing when speaking (not including people that don’t do it because they are bigoted) but the fact that it is the proper way to address people when writing professionally is rather ironic. I think it is probably something that is not used as much as it should be and goes back to the understanding of the basic rules of grammar and implies a level of Courtesy when used properly. The example of “they” can be singular or plural shows how pronouns can confuse the meaning of the writing in either number of individuals being referred to or an issue of stereotyping genders. In order to be Clear, using pronouns in professional writing can be tricky and should be left out if possible.

My second point is the idea of Constructive writing and how it is directly tied to the meaning gained from the message. Living in a world where people are extremely sensitive to how others make them feel, altering the writing to not include negativity and allow the reader to feel a semblance of choice (not being given an order) results in the audience receiving the message and complying with it without any problems (as can occur with negative implications of non-constructive writing.)

Journal #4

The first important point is the use of logos, pathos, and ethos and how any persuasive letter or ad requires the use of all three in order to maximize how many people from the audience change their thoughts, feelings, or actions. However, in my personal experience, if you know your audience, use the persuasive tactic that best compliments the audience’s personal views. Ex: most people love animals and become emotional when an animal is hurt thus animal shelters use sad music and pictures of abused/neglected or even “crying” animals in order to persuade the audience to adopt or donate. This works the same in the professional setting, tech companies would prefer to hear the logos persuasion while customer service would prefer ethos.

The second important point is the use of Desire to persuade an audience. While a logos answer to any oppositions by the audience is great, I believe the other option of stressing the benefits (including emotional) to be the best strategy. This tactic is used by car sales people, women using the idea/vision of sex to lure men to buy expensive sports cars while the male sellers use logistical benefits (“can go 0-60 in 3.5 seconds and has seat warmers”) thus impressing the buyer and persuading the audience that it is the best option. Persuasion is a part of life but doing it properly, especially in a professional letter, allows for maximum success.

Journal #5

“You are running a telethon to benefit a children’s charity. Using AIDA, write and appeal to local business seeking donations to the telethon. Be specific about what charity you are writing for and the company to which you are writing”

                                       Operation Smile                                       

3641 Faculty Boulevard,
Virginia Beach, VA 23453

January 24, 2020

Dear Mr. McMillon, CEO of Walmart:

Subject: Donations needed to fund hospitals in order to perform free cleft restoration surgery on children in over 22 countries.

Suffering Children Need Your Help! Operation Smile is running a telethon to benefit the tens of thousands of children who suffer from a cleft deformity, and provide them with the simple surgery they need.

Cleft conditions have been an ongoing issue in all parts of the world since the beginning of known human history, killing over three thousand people each year, but the most affected are children living in poverty. Caring for cleft deformed children requires special feeding appliances and constant medical care over their lifespan, making costs average at $697 million dollars. However, due to the intense poverty most cleft deformed children live in, they cannot afford the surgery, let alone the lifelong care they require, so many children are being left to die.

Cleft surgery was first introduced in 1764 and has since been refined so that no one would ever know the patient was born with a facial deformity. Cleft surgery costs thousands of dollars to perform but it is a small price to pay for the new lives of dignity and pride these suffering children will be granted. Psychologists have found a direct relationship between self-esteem and depression, so with their newfound confidence these poor children’s futures will be filled with promise and potential, the hospital visit even providing opportunities for health and well-being in other aspects of their lives.

In order to raise the money for these children, providing hospitals and surgeons in 22 countries around the globe the ability to correct these facial deformities, we at Operation Smile are running a telethon and would greatly appreciate a donation from Walmart. The telethon will be televised all across America and all donors will be named specifically. Also, since Operation Smile is a registered charity, you and your company will receive a tax-deduction receipt.

Your donation is needed before or on the night of our telethon broadcast, 7pm December 15, so that we can grant these children the best Christmas ever. We have enclosed a stamped, self-addressed envelope for your convenience. You can also donate on our website, https://secure.operationsmile.org, using credit card, PayPal, or through our hotline (888)-249-3797. Donations can also be accepted during the telethon, at which time the information will be listed on the screen.

On behalf of the children with cleft deformities, we thank you for your support.

Journal #6

The first thing someone should know about this chapter is how research must be done on the institution one is applying for as it will be necessary to writing a cover letter. This includes who is being addressed and answering why you would be the best applicant for this particular job based on the provided job description and requirements.

Another thing someone should know about this chapter is that a cover letter is a crucial component of a first impression, grammatical or other writing errors can cause an applicant to be discarded in the first portion of the screening process. This means that the cover letter must apply all the qualities of professional and technical writing such as the eight Cs and use of Plain English.

A crucial thing to know is that the writing format should include 10-12 point Times New Roman font, single spaced; they did not drill this into us in high school for no reason.

The last thing someone needs to know about this chapter is how to correctly arrange the information in a persuasive way, thus the recommendation to use the AIDA approach including how to best catch the potential employer’s attention, maintain interest through a detailed list of relevant skills and references, build desire by describing why you would be the best fit and finally force action by providing contact information and checking in every now and then.

Journal #7

Stephanie Ruff 248-986-5778 sruff1@une.edu

1/30/2020

John Doe
Camp Seaside
Freeport Recreation & Community Education

Dear John Doe:

My name is Stephanie Ruff and I am applying to your Camp Counselor position at Camp Seaside. I learned of your establishment from personal experience as I used to be a camper at Camp Seaside.

I am currently studying Psychology at the University of New England and am set to graduate in 2023. I have taken courses in child psychology and have had experience teaching and planning activities for large groups of children. Your facility has an outstanding reputation for providing essential life skills and fun to children and it would be a privilege for me to expand my knowledge as a Camp Counselor at Camp Seaside.

This would be my second job, so I do have experience in working in a team, putting presentations together to present to large groups of children and a vast knowledge of the psychology and behaviors of children. I am highly motivated, having taken on 19 credits and a job this past semester while still keeping a positive attitude. Your website describes the Camp Counselor position as having varying opportunities not only for me to learn but to build upon the skills I already have.

No matter where my career path takes me, I am dedicated to making sure I will be able to work with and teach children. With the right opportunities and training, I believe I can achieve this goal and be a part of the next generation of role models and teachers who will inspire children to take on life with a positive attitude. I hope to do this with the help of the Camp Counselor position at Camp Seaside.

Enclosed is the completed application for the position along with my most current resume. I would greatly appreciate your consideration of me and would be happy to answer any questions. I will be in touch but if need be I can be reached by email at sruff1@une.edu and by phone at 248-986-5778.

Sincerely,

Stephanie Ruff

Journal #8

Ad: https://www.indeed.com/viewjob?jk=18ce5e6564fafb6d&from=serp&prevUrl=https%3A%2F%2F www.indeed.com%2Fm%2Fjobs%3Fq%3DEducation%2BAnimal% 2BAmbassador%26aceid%3D%26gclid%3DEAIaIQobChMI6v2-7bSs5wIVxp6zCh0igA0eEAAYASAAEgItdPD_BwE&mobRdr=1 

List #1:
Experience and Education:
High School diploma or equivalent, plus a minimum of one year of experience working with animals in a professional setting; or equivalent combination of education and experience. Previous customer service experience and background knowledge in basic animal handling, including hoofstock, is preferred.
Skills and Aptitudes:
· Ability to engage children and adults of all ages and learning abilities.
· Must demonstrate proficiency working with a variety of animals including: small mammals, and ponies.
· Must demonstrate proficiency with animals while engaging with the public simultaneously.
· Must possess superior customer service skills
· Must be able to work with individuals, small groups, and crowds
· Must be dynamic and enthusiastic
· Must be flexible and adaptable
Additional Requirements:
· Must be able to work independently and collaboratively
· Must possess excellent public speaking skills
· Must have an appreciation for informal, lifelong learning in agreement with RWPZ’s mission and commitment to education and conservation
· Must provide proof of a negative TB test prior to the start of employment
· Must be available to work weekdays, weekends, holidays and occasional evenings
· Ability to work outdoors under various weather conditions
· Occasionally lifts and moves up to 30 pounds
· Successful completion of a background check
(I have most of these skills)

List 2:
Experience and Education:
High School diploma. Background knowledge in basic animal handling through 5 years of experience with foster dogs. 3 years of experience of teaching children in a group setting. 2 years of customer service experience in a food establishment.
Skills and Aptitudes:
· Able to engage children and adults of all ages
· Possess customer service skills
· Able to work with individuals, small groups, and crowds
· Dynamic and enthusiastic
· Flexible and adaptable
· Able to work independently and collaboratively
· Possess excellent public speaking skills
· Have an appreciation for informal, lifelong learning in agreement with RWPZ’s mission and commitment to education and conservation
· Able to provide proof of a negative TB test prior to the start of employment
· Available to work weekdays, weekends, holidays and occasional evenings
· Able to work outdoors under various weather conditions
· Can occasionally lift and move up to 30 pounds
· Able to pass a background check
The strongest points in my favor is the fact that I have a majority of the skills and aptitudes they are looking for as well as the education. My weakest point is my lack of experience with undomesticated, exotic animals and techniques for their handling and care. I believe the most important skills and qualities to the employer are excellent people and communication skills as well as a love and dedication for animal conservation and education.

Journal #9

When I revise my cover letter I will focus on switching the information currently located in my Desire paragraph with the information currently in my Interest paragraph, I flipped them by mistake. I will also be focusing on making my skills and sentences more specific and precise.

As a writer, I appreciated the constructive criticism and explanations on how to fix the issues as it provided a clear list of edits that I can adjust in an organized manner. As a peer reviewer, I like to provide all the constructive criticism first and then highlight what was done really well, that way the sting of criticism is buffered by some positivity.

Journal #10

Something someone should know about resumes is to avoid making it longer than two pages, that is what CV’s are for.

Another thing someone should know is not to include high school experience unless it is relevant. I find this to be intriguing because the people at Career Services say to include high school experience until sophomore or junior year. I guess it just depends on what kind of experience the person has.

The order of a resume should go: Personal Details, Job Objective/Career Summary, Education and Qualifications, Career History/ Work Experience, Training, Personal Activities and Interests, and References (not always listed). This is a pretty standard format but things that are relevant outside of these categories should also be included.

The last important thing to know is that there are three types of resumes: reverse chronological, functional, and combined. Each one works to highlight different aspects of the aspiring employee but all should try to use keywords from the job description/field so that the resume will pass an electronic screening.

Journal #11

In reflection of the Cover Letter Project, I have gained valuable insight into proper formatting as well as the order in which to state my experience and interest in the job position. I learned that the more research I did on the job description and potential employers, the easier it was to write the cover letter and tailor it to highlight how I would be the best fit for the job position without bragging. I also gained insight on how to be humble and play on the strengths of the institution I am applying for while also highlighting my own strengths, specifically describing the institution’s reputation and how I would be an asset in furthering that reputation. The work itself wasn’t difficult and I was able to draw on Cover Letters I had previously written, using them as a template that I then rounded out and edited as we moved through the unit and I learned the proper way to phrase or format things. I am now in a position where I have a solid Cover Letter that only requires a bit of tweaking in order to best fit the jobs I apply for in the future.

Journal #12

I think my references would say that I am passionate about my work and am confidant in my abilities. They would also probably talk about my leadership and communication skills as well as my desire/willingness to learn. Since they were previous employers, they would describe me as trusting, punctual and a leader. I would like them to know that I have won awards for my dedication to volunteer work and service and that I made the dean’s list this past semester. I would also like them to know that I spend 15 hours a week at work on top of my 19 credits worth of schoolwork and am still maintaining my GPA.

Journal #13

The few things I will focus on to revise my resume will be to include an objective, specifying what position I am applying for so that the content of my resume makes sense. I will change the verbs under my skills column so that they match in style (completing “I am..” statements to provide consistency for the reader.) I will also add another bullet point for “Customer service” and confer with Jesse about how specific my places of employment need to be since I do not remember the names of all the rescues I have fostered dogs with.

On the process of peer review, as a writer, I found the group discussion and references to the book to be the most helpful. The reviewers provided positive critiques before the criticism which was then thoroughly explained and agreed upon. As a reviewer, I provided criticism followed by positive feedback and gave suggestions for how to go about the editing. I find this way to be the most effective in relaying writing criticism as it keeps the writer aware of the issues but positive about the outcome.

Journal #14

The process as a whole was a little different for me since I have been working on my resume at home and in another class since December/January. However, I did find the group peer review process along with tips from the book to be quite helpful. I gained insight into formatting, specifically what I prefer based on my personal writing style/aesthetic. I learned a lot more about different formats that are acceptable as well as how much leeway I have. I also learned that there are different opinions about how many pages a resume should be but there is a definite limit of no more than two pages. I also learned that, given how recent high school was for me, I have quite a bit of leeway in putting those experiences on my resume. The work itself has gone well, albeit a bit stressful given how important this document is for the rest of my foreseeable future.

Journal #15

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1y__PGBRw7Xf5-UQuLqGvw7VuEmVssiblocUdEHO0IoA/edit?usp=sharing

Journal #16

Length: 2 minutes
Song: “Natural” – Imagine Dragons
Images: fire, Luxembourg pic (see translation), “Nobody Cares” SpongeBob meme, flying Dutchman SpongeBob meme, fireworks
Text: “Be what you are”, “Crown from the lake”, You will not fail, Don’t forget to breathe!
Use of green screen?

Journal #17

The most important thing someone should know after reading this chapter is that being able to give a good oral presentation is the biggest determining factor in getting a job and climbing the corporate ladder.

When it comes to preparing for a presentation, there are four important things to know: the audience, the venue, the purpose of the presentation, the material, and the visual aides.

When it comes to the content of the presentation, the most important thing is to highlight the three things that you want the audience to remember. This also includes knowing exactly how your presentation will make the audience feel and act afterwards. The presentation itself should be structured like an essay; this includes and introduction, an argument/thesis, three points that prove your argument/thesis, and a conclusion that makes the presentation content relevant to the audience.

When it comes to delivery, there are nine key components to not only be understood but to be professional: stay outwardly calm, remember that what you are saying is important, take your time to survey the audience and gather your thoughts, avoid verbal distractions (like, you know, etc.), avoid physical distractions (moving around, tapping a pencil, etc.), make lots of eye contact, don’t rush, vary your tone and project your voice, and lastly have fun.

Journal #18

An impactful T-shirt includes: aesthetic appeal, easy to read/see words or images, and something that attracts attention; this can include a well known symbol (cross or pink ribbon), something humorous, or something profound/clever. Text should be minimal and stylistic, placed over the breast or shoulder blades (upper middle). For our class the text should be blocked Times New Roman (professional font/style) and should be white with a colored outline to make it pop against the shirt color, which should be blue both for aesthetic appeal and school spirit. The overall message of the shirt should be to promote the class and what we learned from it. (see link below)

Journal #19

Our product is an animal rental service. College students who are missing their creature friends back home can pay a small fee to basically own the animal of their choosing (cat, dog, rodent or reptile) for a period of time. They are required to feed, play and exercise the animal and in return they get to enjoy the company of a furry or scaly friend. There will also be an option for the renter to adopt the animal since all animals are sourced through various animal rescues/shelters. This product is important because many college students are not able or allowed to have their pets with them on campus, a situation that can be detrimental to their emotional or mental health. Scientific studies have proven that contact with animals reduces stress and increases dopamine production, meaning that our product will actually improve the health of college students.
We would need statements/reviews from college students who have tried our service as well as a emphasis on how cheap it is. For images we need pictures of our animals as well as human/animal interactions, potentially funny memes to draw in our target buyers. Slogans should be cutesy or include some sort of word play (creature confidant, put your confidence in our creatures or something like that).
The brochure should have the feel of excitement, people should be buzzing with excitement and happiness when they are done reading our brochure, like looking at an advertisement for an amusement park. 

Journal #20

The most important thing someone should know is to use AIDA format along with logos, pathos, and ethos to draw in/persuade the reader. AIDA is set up by panel: 1st panel= Attention, 2nd/3rd/4th panels= Interest, 4th/5th panels=Desire and the 6th panel=Action. The brochure should have pleasing but also informative graphics that attract readers and profess a level of style/professionalism. Information should be neatly organized and clear about the who, what, why and how of the product. Be gentle when displaying prices and make it clear that (if it applies) it is cheap/affordable for the audience. In order to succeed at creating Desire, the brochure should focus on how the product can be of use to the consumer, what will they get out of it, and less so on the features of the product.

Journal #21

The project is going well. We are working out text and style of the brochure as well as images we want to use (some personal some off the internet). My role is coming up with text and helping with graphics, Jordan is lead on graphics and layout. I am hoping to improve on the time frame of when I work on this project, making sure to get all the big stuff done first then nitpicking later on; atypical from my usual style of doing projects. The benefits of collaboration are that I am able to share the work load and get some feedback on my ideas. I am also able to hear knew ideas and work to combine them to make an overall better product. Lastly, and my favorite part about collaboration is the ability to apply other peoples strengths so that the parts I am not proficient in will end up better than if I had done the project individually.

Journal #22

Destiny and Alaina:
I love the overall design of your brochure, the colors are striking but not overwhelming and the design immediately makes me think of soap and bubbles. The information is laid out in an easy to read format and gets right to the point. A general critique, I would love to see some more graphics about the product or its components. Maybe a drawing or digital mockup?
Attention: I love your company slogan, foot puns are always fun but I think sticking a graphic or company logo might help with some of the blank space and provide a better understanding of what your product is from the get go. Also, maybe make it more obvious which foot related thing is your company name because it is a little confusing due to the formatting, a logo might help with this.
Interest: As I stated earlier, the information is laid out in an easy to read manner and definitely builds interest about your product. I would like to see some graphics, maybe of someone in flip flops looking upset? and some sort of price range, even if that is just saying “same price as your bargain store flip flops” or “guaranteed to be less than X amount of dollars;” that way there is an understanding by the reader that the product is affordable, making them more interested and more likely to buy your product. On panel 3 the word “soaps” is a little difficult to read, maybe move it up half a line?
Desire: I really liked this panel but as I was reading it I was wishing I could see the optional design patterns since polka dots and flowers can have different meanings to different people, you could have some fun and make the patterns part of the panel’s background or even just place them randomly around the words, just an idea based on my personal preference. The testimonial was great! Maybe include a picture of President Herbert so there is a frame of reference for the reader and less blank space?
Action: this panel I found to be a little lacking in the “Call” to action. Even just adding a “NOW” after “CONTACT US” would solve this problem very quickly. Coupons, maybe?
Overall I did really like your brochure, but I really think some images or graphics will take it to that last step. You girls have made a really good start and I cannot wait to see the final product and get some criticism for mine and Jordan’s brochure. Keep up the good work!

Jack and Caitlyn:
I really dig the graphics and professional layout of your brochure, it is inviting, easy to read and has a good balance of words and images. The use of rhetorical questions really helps to guide the reader through the information and keeps them interested so that they continue to the next panel.
Attention: Perfect except, and I am wondering if this is a technical error, but I would make sure your “Who We Are and Mission Statement” title is on the correct panel, this is a reoccurring issue on a few of the panels so I would just double check that. Otherwise, this panel meets all the requirements, is inviting and pleasing to look at.
Interest: Also really well done. I know black is the go to color for text but maybe try a dark gray so the lettering isn’t so stark against the white background. Since you have so many words bunched together in a small space without a graphic or color break, the black can be a bit harsh on a reader’s eyes, but this is me being nit picky so take it or leave it. And again, tech error, try to make sure info is clumped onto panels and not spread between, especially as you get to the third panel and you have a title and step on one panel and the remaining steps on another.
Desire: I’m not going to be picky and say your mission statement has to go here but its an option. I really like the graphics for panel 4 but I would maybe include some benefits/testimonials to gain desire from the people who will be utilizing your service, not just those who will be making cash from it. On panel 5, I think the text in the star got cut off, may just be an issue in the way it transferred but I would double check that. I would also really like to see some more color on this panel, whether it is text or a picture or even a cutesy image of a pen, just something to lighten the mood a bit and give this part of the brochure a little less corporate feel.
Action: Once again, spot on in the delivery and information provided. I really think an image of a “happy college student” would be great for this panel thus leaving the reader with an image to remember instead of just words.
Overall, really well done and most of my critiques are me being nit picky and based on personal preference but you guys are already in a really good place whether you use my advice or not. Keep up the good work!

Journal #23

The first thing someone should know after reading this chapter is that a news release is written for two audiences: the public and the editor. The news release needs to be easy to understand and follow AIDA to get the public to buy the product but it also needs to be well written and fit in the space the editor is provided. If the editor doesn’t like it, the news release is trashed instead of put out into the world to be viewed by the public.

The second thing someone should know about this chapter is to follow some general tips along with AIDA format that increase the chances of the news release actually being released. Tips include: use the company logo and a memorable headline so that any reader knows where the information is coming from and will draw them in, put all vital information in the first paragraph so the reader is drawn in and know exactly what they are reading about, QUOTE A SECOND PERSON (this provides validity for the news information and makes the entire release credible), keep the news release to 250-300 words, and lastly proofread everything repeatedly. While it is an editors job to fix mistakes, if the news release has a ton of errors the editor is more likely to throw it in the trash than waste their time editing it.

Journal #24

I have gained quite a lot of insight into how brochures can be an effective way to distribute information to the public as well as that I seem to have a knack for aesthetic graphic design; a skill I look forward to experiment with in the coming years. I have learned how to appropriately style and design a brochure so that the information is well balanced with images and is easy for any reader to understand. I also learned what it is like to work on a project remotely, something my father does quite frequently for his job, and I have found that it was fortunate that we have a small class size so I only had to communicate with one person and not three or four, a task that would have been quite difficult. The work itself was rather easy, I give the credit to the website and software Jordan recommended we use to design the brochure as it allowed for free reign/total control of design options and edits to be made making the entire process simple and easy. I also really enjoyed working with Jordan, getting her opinions and being able to rely on her to do her share of the work, something I have never had much luck with in the past. Overall I really loved this project and cannot wait for the next one!

Journal #25

An important thing about group presentations is not only to work like a team but to look like a team=dress code, wear similar clothes. The team needs to have a leader who will take charge in preparing the presentation, they will need to divide up the work and make sure all team members are contributing their fair share. They will also be in charge of answering questions or giving the question to another team member who is more qualified to answer. The presentation should include an introduction (introduce team members, topic of the presentation, and who the audience is), two or three main points and a conclusion (recap the highlights of the presentation and answer any questions.)

Journal #26

What kind of details would convince an investor? Cost, benefits to the patrons and investors, highlights of the positive PR, logistics on how the company will be successful and protected against lawsuits.

How should you present your idea? Props? PowerPoint? Impact? We are presenting our idea just by talking, maybe having a background with the company logo or some animals. Impact should be positive and make them want to invest, this will primarily be done by describing the benefits and how the company will gain positive PR.

What tone are you trying to convey? Tone should be light and steady (not overly excited or serious) but it should also convey how important this service will be to students and animals and how invested we are in making the service available and useful.

How will you work with your partner to harness your power? We will both be speaking, playing to the points we know best and practicing what we are going to say so that the transitions between us are smooth and connected. We will also be wearing similar colored clothes that are non-casual in order to convey our professionalism. We will basically harness our power by playing off each others strengths.

Journal #27

After the peer review, there are a few things that I am hoping to adjust for our presentation. We will start by adding some slides. Similar to Caitlyn and Jack, I want to include a slide that explains the website setup and the steps a customer would go through to utilize our service. I also want to add a slide about where our profits will go, which is to the rescues and shelter we source the animals from as well as towards keeping maintenance of the website (which Jordan and I are in charge of) basically highlighting that we are not in it to make a lot of money but to help the animals and keep the service afloat. If we are going to use stats on how many college students have anxiety and/or depression, these should be included on a slide along with the source. Our slides were a little cluttered with words and images but we were attempting to mimic the style of our brochure; we will try to clean it up a bit and maybe switch out some images but overall our presentation will have more pictures than a typical presentation so that we can showcase all the animals we offer.

For the overall presentation, the main thing we need to fix is the way we are speaking to the audience. We should be using a “you” voice and treat the presentation as though we were speaking to investors and not just our classmates. This was our first real run through of the presentation so we will need to come up with a comprehensive outline, making sure the information is consistent and who is speaking when. The outline will also allow us to make sure our presentation and slides follow AIDA format, which it currently does not.

In preparation for the final project, not only will I fix the presentation with the above edits but I will be practicing with Jordan so that when we present we will in complete sync and more confidant.