Best Feed Back Received:

I had asked my peer review group if my ending made any sense in the point I was trying to get across about Love actually being Betrayal, a negative empath. Their recommendation was to end my story earlier than originally planned instead of trying to write an ending that would tell the reader my point. They thought the implication had come through rather clearly and recommended I end my story by removing the last three paragraphs. I followed their advice and by adding one sentence I had the perfect ending I had been trying to write. It was nice to learn that my intention had come through and therefore I did not need to continue struggling to write an ending.

Best Feedback Given:

Both Emma and Tyler had yet to finish their stories when we had peer reviews but Tyler had been struggling with the path in which he wanted to take his story. I told him that he had left himself open to many possibilities so he had total freedom to end it however he wanted. I recommended a romantic ending but also told him that if he wanted it to end in murder he could totally do that. Tyler appreciated the recommendation and we talked about pro’s and con’s of each kind of ending so that he had a better idea of what he could do as an author and what us reader’s were hoping to read. I think the comment was beneficial because I gave Tyler some guidelines and recommendations but reminded him that he had total creative freedom which he should use to his full advantage.

One Element of Craft:

I think the element of craft that is working best for me is characterization. While the interactions between my characters is the entirety of my story, their specific details, mannerisms and way of speaking is what truly makes my characters real and relatable and I believe it is something I did quite well. Each of my characters speaks differently, “Sooo, Love, you wanna tell me why I’m all tied up? If you had wanted to talk you could have just called.” and “Oh Cyn, we both know what happened last time I called. I figured this would be easier.” Cynical is rather straight to the point and speaks like a typical teenager with contractions and the alterations of words while Love speaks sophisticatedly and talks around the subject. The mannerisms are specific to this scenario but are vastly different either way. an example being “Cynical clenched his hands into fists, straining the zip ties that bound him. His partially bleached hair fell into his face, hiding the left side. Love moved forward, reaching out to move the hair but at Cynical’s flinch he resorted to the dagger. Cynical froze as the dagger drew closer to him. Closing his eyes as if it would prevent the inevitable; he relaxed as he felt the tip of the blade scrape along his scalp, moving the long hair to the side and behind his ear. Reopening his eyes, Cynical stared at Love’s face; impassive and calculating as always. Staying within Cynical’s personal space, Love simply waited.” There is a portrayal of power, urgency, fear; all which attribute to the mindset and following actions of each character. I love these characters and found the only way to make my story was to show every aspect of who my characters are, I believe my focus on characterization was quite successful.

Changes:

I think the two big things I would change would be Love’s backstory and the introduction. Love’s backstory is explained rather poorly in my story but the initial idea of his backstory was something I regretted rather quickly as it is rather far fetched and allusive in the realm of my understanding and insight into abuse. It would have been better if I had written it as neglectful abuse instead of outright physical harm. In relation to the introduction, I had initially removed and added things to it but I feel as though I am still missing something that will describe the world my characters live in more thoroughly. I could have included Cynical’s backstory or done a narration that was from an outside perspective instead of from the empaths perspective and experience. If I were to rewrite it I would most likely center it more on narration than on the specific experiences of the empaths.